There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
