Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize