Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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