My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I just had sex on a roof
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
