I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
When are your genitals available?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
