Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
