I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
