That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
