In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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