Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
