she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
