i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
This is the prime rib incident all over again
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
