Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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