at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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