READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
