The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
