I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize