Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Randomize