arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Randomize
