If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
