while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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