so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
