Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
