I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
ugly people sure do ruin things
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
