Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
