Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize