What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
