i can't believe i had my finger in that
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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