So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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