I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
