so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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