I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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