Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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