Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Randomize
