Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
