Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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