Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
