he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
