Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
you made out with another girl for some wings
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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