As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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