she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
