pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I intend to get homeless drunk
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
