I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
