At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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