I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Randomize
