We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
