fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
