if you like me you must not know who I am
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
