she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Randomize
