Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize