Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
