AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
