why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
