Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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