I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize