operation harelip BJ is a go
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Randomize
