Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
