He asked to "fluff my boner.."
that's an acceptable place to lick
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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