He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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