OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
