Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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